Highlight: The Fab 5 Reigns Supreme
We kind of know how it goes at this point with Olympic heroes, don't we? They win our hearts with breathtaking feats of athleticism, enjoy the spotlight for a while, and then we lose interest when football starts and they end up either
stoned out of their gourds hocking five-dollar footlongs or turning into
androgynous plastic-faced goblins who marry into families of horrible Armenian witch-monsters. Either way, it's safe to say that their first moment in the sun is also their purest, so let's salute the Fab 5 women's gymnastics team of Gabby Douglas, Aly Raisman, McKayla Maroney, Jordyn Wieber and Kyla Ross while we still can. Girls, when we say we wish you a life of comfortable obscurity, it's not because we dislike you. It's because the alternative is much, much worse.
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