In a way, the awesomeness of these floats makes me sad, because I know that we live in a country where anything that costs this much money has to be made "safe" for the morality police and the generally lame, reactionary and unadventurous general public. If Rick Santorum went to Rio Carnival, he would probably choke on his own tongue in the first 90 seconds of getting off the plane. In fact, let's send Rick Santorum to Rio, right now.