"Best 2K I Ever Spent!" Why Partyers Do The Things They Do At Disco Down

by SUSANNAH LONG · May 6, 2010

Another Disco Down at Happy Endings, another flash of insight into the human soul. Why do people do the things they do, wear the things the wear, and flash those g-d finger signs that they always flash? We have the answer, because we are really, really smart.-

That's right, we learned in middle school drama class that every action has a motivation. Usually, such motivations are rooted in the fact that no one gets enough love in his or her childhood. We couldn't say that for every single photo, however, so we delved a little deeper. We think the results will give you a new understanding of human nature.

She Eskimo-kisses because of she kiss-kisses him, she'll be overpowered by lust and bite his face.

She wears a hat because she is secretly bald on top of her head.

She is rebelling against her super-preppy parents, Martha and Theodore IV.

He is also rebelling against her parents, Martha and Theodore IV. His own parents are totally cool with this, and keep buying him gifts of fingerless gloves and greasepaint "just because."

The headphones are really just so no one asks her questions. DJs hate questions. She's playing solitaire on the laptop.

The pouty face is because she ran over his dog, stole his bible, and slept with his mom.

He claps because otherwise he loses the rhythm.

He does that all the time. He wants to lick her hair, but he's too shy.

That isn't a happy face. Tank Top is threatening to crawl up Leather Jacket's laundry chute and videotape her while she sleeps. No judgment. We've all been there.

She drinks to forget that terrible night in Monaco. Prince Albert is a cad, and he won't pay for dry-cleaning.

The tight shirt is not to show off muscles. It's so that he always feels like someone is hugging him.

Middle Girl makes that face to keep from crying, and one of her few joys in life is to show off her pickpocket fingers.

His mother is calling. She says, "U R A DISGRACE TO FMILY." There has been no peace since she learned to text.

She made the bra herself because her roommate kept stealing and burning the store-bought ones. This bra is coated in flame retardant.

That's not a kiss. She's smelling her ear. Ear-smelling is in. (Hair smelling is out.)

[All photos courtesy of Nicky Digital]