Are you mature enough for this?
Do you often outright say you don't have daddy issues even though no one even asked or implied it? Have you sorted this sh*t out with your shrink yet? Are you constantly posting on social media about your DILF boyfriend? Are you constantly posting on social media underscoring his age? Are you posting on social media about his kids? Are you posting on social media underscoring his kids' ages (which are closer to your age than his is)? Are you defending yourself by saying you're doing this facetiously and as a joke even though it's just creeping people out? On your iPhone that you're broadcasting all of this on, how many cracks does the screen have? How many iPhones have you gone through this year? How have you not invested in a phone case by now? Can you even get your shit together to respond to texts and phone calls in a timely fashion? Are you feeling like my questions are oddly specific, like they're geared towards you and I'm singling you out?
[Photo via @kennedyscamelot]
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