Michael Stipe's Answer to Bono's Spider-Man: The Flash. Also...The Rock On Crotch Incident

R.E.M.’s front man Michael Stipe talked Broadway and Christmas at the Empire State Building, where Food Bank NYC and chef Mario Batali launched a newly formed Culinary Council.

As U2's Bono cultivates Spider-Man on Broadway, we wondered which superhero R.E.M. would pursue for a musical venture.

"I think it would be the Flash," he said dryly.

But Stipe doesn't have time to consider hypothetical comic book endeavors--what with the holidays approaching and all the troubles they can bring.

First, there are the culinary debacles at Christmas:

"We used to go German, and have some leftovers from Thanksgiving."

But the most wonderful time of the year really  hit rock bottom a few years ago when he had his worst Christmas experience:

"Falling on my ass was and having a rock in my crotch, that was pretty bad."

Given the mishaps--some unappetizing, some painful, some both--Stipe usually tries to avoid his bandmates during the holidays.

"We’re close," he said, "but we don’t spend Christmas together, that would be too much."