In case you somehow missed the skywriting and the probable live news crawl at One Times Square (can anyone confirm if that happened? We bet it did.), Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. [TMZ]
After finding out, she seems to have tweeted Chris Brown and Lyrica to come to her house. Chris wouldn't be our choice in a crisis, but whatevs. [Twitter]
Elle MacPherson eats rhino horn. We'd say she's an idiot, but she looks great. [NYDN]
Rapturous "Play Me, I'm Yours" footage! [Westside Independent, via Gothamist]
The Village Voice shows you how to survive a blackout. [Voice]
Dear American Airlines at JFK: please stop losing guns. Sincerely, Benjamin Netanyahu. [Post]