Bruce Cameron Clark: Bespokenator. [NYT]
The Wall Street Journal wants you to know that when the bad men come to murder you, they will try to use your text messages to confuse the police. Will future bad menget away with it? Not now that the WSJ is on the case!!!!! [WSJ]
Bill O'Reilly says mean things about gay-themed McDonalds ad from France. Breaking: Bill O'Reilly is a jerk. [NYDN]
Hahaha! SI Yankees pitching coach robbed by miniskirted women who visited him when god-fearin' people were in bed watching "Dancing With The Stars." You know, hookers. [Post]
The day you've long feared has come to pass: zombies in Williamsburg. [Village Voice]
The 101 Best Sandwiches List gets easier to integrate into your life. [GrubStreet]