No more NYC schools rubber rooms! Mike Bloomberg will now just step on bad teachers' heads. [Post]
Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt (Poug? Parig? Dougris?) have ended it after 14 months together. [NYDN]
Preview clip of the Eliot Spitzer documentary is way uncomfortable. [Gothamist]
Robert De Niro says "We're doing our best" to make this year's Tribeca Film Festival mind-blowing. [NYMag]
The Times compares tax day at NY post offices to The Hunchback of Notre Dame, because Victor Hugo instantly tarts up weak ledes. [Times]
Justin Bieber puts Egg McMuffins before all else. [Post]