Send Your Senator A Vibrator To Protest The New Healthcare Bill

by Millie Moore · June 29, 2017

    In case you haven't heard, TrumpCare is planning on hacking and mutilating the healthcare plans of over 20 million Americans. Surely your social media feeds have been monopolized with people urging you to call your senators and send them letters. But who the hell actually uses the phone to call people and who even writes letters anymore? You know how to really get the message across? Send your Senator a vibrator. 

    No, seriously.

    Vibes for Congress, our new favorite political movement, sends vibrators to the congress member of your choice along with an educational pamphlet about sex and women's health care. They could definitely use the pamphlet, what with all of the blind spots these men clearly have when it comes to sexual assault, women's reproductive and sexual health, or how sex works in general. Sending these dudes sex toys is totally appropriate if you think about it, because we all know affluent rich white men are no strangers to kinky-ass sex, especially the ones in the upper echelons of politics! Do we need to rattle off all of the sexual transgressions those guys have made? Do you have a few hours to read a list of all of those scandals, beat for beat? And they're the ones who are determining our healthcare and what's best for our bodies!

    So be sure to send the most vile Republican congressmen a little treat! Even if they don't get the message, 75% of the proceeds go to Planned Parenthood, who has gotten the Trump side-chick treatment throughout this entire process since they got totally f*cked by him and got no pleasure from it. 

    Even if these political bureaucrats don't get the message, we're sure their mistresses will appreciate the regift! And who knows, maybe if Mitch McConnell and Ted Cruz read the pamphlet, they'll finally learn where that gosh darn clit is!

    [Photo via Getty]