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Slide #6

DO Keep A Headcount
Once, when I was in college, my rugby team traveled several miles off campus in order to have our "choir practice" (for those of you unfamiliar with rugby, a choir practice involves at least two full kegs, some extremely explicit songs, and several other increasingly homoerotic rituals) in a barn in rural Vermont. When the keg was kicked, we were stacked into the back of the designated driver's SUV like hooker corpses leaving Joe Francis' house and hauled back to campus, group seemingly intact. That is, until I got a call from my buddy at 9 a.m. the following morning that opened with, "Dude...I'm still here." At some point in the late evening, he had stumbled into a nearby unassociated farmhouse (people don't lock their doors in Vermont) and promptly passed out on the couch, only to be awakened the next morning but a confused (but amused) resident. The moral of the story? Never leave a man behind, or you might end up driving several miles to pick them up the next day, super hung over. And yes, I'm aware that dipping out early, drunk and unannounced is sometimes called the Irish Exit, but accept that shit at your own risk.
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