Don't pretend you want to settle down and have children
Remember his Oscar campaign when he said that he wanted to settle down and have children one day? Also, remember when he finally won that Oscar and then recently it got confiscated by the Feds in a beautiful twist of fate? Dude, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to have children. I mean, did you hear about Princess Charlotte throwing a temper tantrum? Chica needs to get a grip, she's a princess, what could she possibly be crying about? Imagine having a kid who WASN'T royalty, ya know, kids that don't have everything handed to them on a 24 karat platter that's a royal heirloom from the 1500s. That's even worse! It's okay to think kids kind of suck because they're lame and not down to party. We'll keep this our little secret, Leo.
[Photo via @celebritykidcam]
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