Do get a pet
Okay, so kids aren't your jam, but a wife and kids is not that only option, people! That's outdated and limiting thinking. Remember when George Clooney was all "I'm never going to get married or have kids! I'm a bachelor for life!" You know, pre-Amal. People found him a lot more likable than Leonardo. Obviously it was because he's really approachable and charming, like he genuinely seems like a good dude. But did you know he also had a pet pig named Max? He was apparently total besties with it. Leo needs to stop flying solo and get a pet, preferably a pig because pigs are hella cool. Donald Trump is the first president in over a century who didn't get a pet for the White House, which just goes to show you that only horrible people don't want pets. Why do you think your dickhead landlord won't let you get a puppy?
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