"Best $20M I Ever Spent!" We Pick Lady Gaga's New Hamptons House

by BRITTA LOFGREN · June 16, 2010

    Move aside Montauk Monster, the Fame Monster's coming to town! It's been recently reported that Lady Gaga is looking to shack up a land favored by the likes of Billy Joel and Andy Warhol. Well, since we're such great fans, we've decided to help our little Fame Monster out with a few suggestions on Gaga-fied real estate.

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    Paparazzi

    Always in the spotlight, sometimes the Lady needs a little time to her lonesome, without all those nosy photogs getting their "flash on.".  For the ultimate in seclusion, we recommend the 77-acre Tick Hall, most recently owned by TV-host Dick Cavett.  The property is so far out on Montauk's tip that ravenous fans the general public can only view the home by air or on the horizon from Andy Warhol's old property.

    Poker Face

    By her own request to "hold them like they do in Texas Plays," this Southampton mansion will put Gaga in the land of the Shinnecock Indians, who have recently been recognized by the federal government and are working on a deal to open a casino on their reservation.  At only $3.4M, the star will have plenty of cash leftover to "play the cards with Spades to start," and maybe in 20 years they'll even let her play the casino's grand stage (you know, when she's done ripping her clothes off onstage/dressing like she's receiving satellite signal/being the biggest pop star on the scene right now).

    Telephone

    We hear Jay-Z and Beyonce like Nello (or at least like leaving $500 tips at Nello).  And we hear Lady Gaga has had some "Wha-Wha-What did you say, huh? You're breaking up on me" moments with Beyonce.  Well hey, why not find something in Southampton, just around the corner from Nello Summertimes?  One would assume that since Beyonce and Jay-Z were so impressed with the service at the Manhattan location they'd certainly be frequenting the Hamptons spot as well, and now the whole crew can hang out and not have to deal with that whole phone signal thing.  But now what will Gaga have to write about...?

    Beautiful, Dirty, Rich

    Nothing says "rich" like the most expensive Hamptons home bought this year.  This $50M mansion may be off the market due to David Tepper's recent purchase, but it's been estimated that the house could rent for up to $900,000 for the summer. Well, it's certainly beautiful, and only affordable for the rich, and Gaga will could definitely find a way to make it dirty.  We think it's a great fit.

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    [Photo 1 via LadyGaga.com, Photo 2, 3 via Corcoran, Photo 4 via Curbed]