Our Survival Guide To Montauk's Bermuda Triangle

by Anna Lombardi · August 3, 2011

    Each town has those bars. You know what ones I am talking about, the bars that you don't start at, but end at. The bars that you know upon entering, that it is not only about to go downhill, but you are already half way down the slope. Long before any Hampsters were roaming the streets, Montauk had their very own Bermuda triangle. The Point, The Memory and Oyster Pond were the three bars that when attended, you most definitely  knew you were waking up without full recollection, and probably any personal belongings. My experience with the Triangle came some years after Oyster Pond had left. My triangle was Nick's, The Point and Memory, but with Sloppy Tuna taking over Nick's things have managed to get even crazier. Let my faults to be your gain. Follow these simple steps the next time you end up at your Bermuda Triangle to make your morning recovery a little less of a hassle.

    Make use of your purse. I have no idea why, but after a few drinks all I want to do is consolidate. I get so lazy lugging around and feeling responsible for a bag. This is when the "back pocket" move became my go to. Credit card, debit card, ID, cash and phone - spaced out between my pockets. This move allowed me to get my dance on and drink at the same time! I thought this was the way to go, until one night I lost both my phone and my credit card. Still stubborn in my ways, I gave this move another chance, only this time I was "dropping it low" at the Memory. It was not until 3 pm the following afternoon that I realized I had boogied away my identification. You may find it annoying at the time, but it saves you a lot of hassle to keep a bag with you.

    Avoid pictures, period. You don't look good, trust me. I wish I had the amount of confidence in front of the camera sober that I do after a few drinks. However, It should really be the opposite, I should be hiding under a blanket rather than striking multiple poses. Because I do not "do" Facebook, I thought that this was no big deal, but just because I do not have a Facebook page, does not mean the randoms that I am posing with don't. You may not be "tagged", but it is still your face.

    Can you guess what the rest of that shirt says? I am sure the security at Sloppy Tuna love it when I force myself on them awkwardly to strike a pose with their t-shirt...

    Looks like somebody consolidated, now she has two hands for two beers and enough of a buzz to confidently strike this pose in public! Yes, we are at the Point, and yes this was the night I lost my identification.

    Hm, I am not sure what is more awkward my face or the fact that I have no idea who this guy is. Am I embarrassing myself enough for you to get the hint? Stop with the pictures.

    Don't give out your number. You are probably saying "duh," but after a round, that judgement goes right out the window. Sometimes giving out your number becomes the easiest way to get somebody to leave you alone. For this reason I have the perfect move. Everybody has a friend who uses the "standard" voicemail (you know the one with just the robot saying the number). Instead of giving your number out, or a fake number, give them your buddies cell phone number.

    You will avoid morning wake-ups to messages like this one. Yeah, this actually happened.

    Stay away from heights. Drinking and danger go hand in hand, especially with the craze of planking and owling (another reason you should Sloppy Tuna). To avoid the bumps and bruises, make sure you think twice before you start jumping up on a table, bar median, or bar stool to pose or dance.

    This owl (at The Point) proves two of my points. 1. She was not on this median longer than a hoot before being escorted off by security, yet we managed to snap this photo and 2. Although she made it out alright, a little slip and this could have been one bruised girl!

    Lay off the heavy make up. It is summer, keep it light. Bar places like this mean a lot of bodies, and with that a lot of heat. You not only stand out as "that girl" with a clown face filled with make up on, but you will end up melting anyway, a sight nobody wants to see.