The MTK Festival: What We Are Bummed About Missing, And What We Won't Miss

by Maggie McGlinchy · August 10, 2011

    This summer was an epic fail as far as concerts go (and that's putting it mildly) and now that the weekend is looming closer, we can't help but think of all the things we were looking forward to at the Music To Know (MTK) festival... but then we started thinking about all the things we weren't looking forward to. So here it is, what we will and most definitely will not miss about the MTK music festival.

    What we will miss: Discovering whether or not Gwyenth Paltrow can actually sing.

    Okay sure, she sounded pretty badass in Country Strong, but it is a movie after all, I'm not completely sold. And her appearance on Glee certainly didn't convince me any further, mostly because I can't stand the cult following it has created. Seeing her in person, live, at a rowdy festival definitely would have been the make or break moment as far as her singing career goes.

    Smile all you want Gwenny, but don't quit your day job just yet.[Photo via]

    What we're not won't miss: Hipsters (or Hampsters) in hats.

    Speaking of Country Strong, we are not going miss hipsters in weird hats, especially cowboy hats. Or even animal hats. Or any kind of hideous hats in general.

    I mean, come on bro.

    What we will miss: The exclusive pop-up shopping.

    I mean, don't get me wrong, I know I can go to Madewell anytime I please, but their styling station seemed pretty sweet and I kinda wanted an expert opinion. Not only that, but the Elizabeth and James pop up was supposed to feature clothes from StyleMint, their invitation-only online store. We also heard they were going to have fortune tellers as a part of their schtick. Bummer city, man.

    Nope, not happenin'. [Photo via]

    What we won't miss: Gross bathrooms.

    Apparently, there was going to be cleaner, nicer, air conditioned bathrooms for the VIP guests and regular gross bathrooms for us commoners. Thanks, but no thanks.

    Hanging out barefoot, I doubt these guys really cared about the bathroom situation.

    What we will miss: Knowing that a bunch of dogs would be hopped up on valium all weekend.

    No, that was not a euphemism. Remember how concerned the Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons was about the loud noises harming the dogs so they were going to give them earmuffs and play classical music? I mean, what does a dog on valium even act like? Guess we'll never know.

    He may look like he's trying to keep protect his ears from the noise, but really he's just having a really bad acid trip and hearing a lot of voices. [Photo via]

    What we won't miss: The people of East Hampton complaining.

    About the noise, traffic, people, blah, blah, blah, EVERYTHING.

    What we will miss: Finding out what exactly was so special about the VIP passes.

    In a previous post, we outlined what was included in a VIP pass, but at Escape to New York, the VIP passes didn't seem that exclusive, except when it came to parking. People with VIP passes seemed to be having an all too similar experience to regular pass holders and something tells me the same would have been true at MTK.

    What we won't miss: Being ripped off.

    $10 beers, $7 pizza, and $8 ice cream. We know expensive food comes with the territory, but what would annoy us would be realizing that we paid that much more for VIP passes only to find out we were ripped off. And any Glamper within a 50 yard radius.

    What we will miss: The Lineup...duh.

    I mean, come on Ellie Goulding, Vampire Weekend, Bright Eyes, Matt & Kim, Chromeo?! And that's only naming a few. I already had to miss out on Of Montreal this weekend, knowing that I'm missing out on these guys too is a whole other let down.

    You can't even tell me that you weren't hoping this was gonna go down.

    What we won't miss: The weird animal mask thing.

    Why are hampsters so into this?! It's creepy and weird. Anytime I see someone with an animal mask on I automatically assume they are up to no good and that's why they are hiding their identity.

    So take that extra shot on us, and drink your MTK sorrows away. Not really, we don't want to be held responsible for you or promote your alcoholism, but you get the idea.