"Best £3,000,000 I Ever Spent!" Drunken Best Man Crashes Petra Ecclestone's Wedding Night

I've been having a recurring nightmare about a pale, zombie-like creature that threatens to eat my brains if I don't write about his daughter's wedding. For the longest time, I chalked it up to bad shellfish, or maybe anxiety about the upcoming election. Thanks to a hilariously vapid and fawning profile of Petra Ecclestone in The Telegraph, I realize the truth.

It was Formula 1 billionaire and German military enthusiast Bernie Ecclestone, and I forgot to talk about Petra's gazillion-dollar wedding to human Muppet James Stunt. Better late than never?

[all photos via unless noted]