"Traveling With The 99%": A Handy Guide To Onboard Drinking

Tip #4: Pace Yourself

I know, I know: this website is the last place you need to get a lecture from; there's plenty of room for that when your horrified parents find you pantless and riding the baggage claim. But the only goal of airplane boozing is to pass the time while you get to your ultimate destination, and like it or not, there is indeed a level of intoxication at which that becomes tricky. You don't even need to go back through a single week of news to find stories about passengers—rich, arguably famous passengers—being escorted from their flights for overindulgence. And if our nation's precious, precious celebrities aren't even immune from the consequences of their own actions, you can bet your middle seat that you aren't, either. So while we would never tell you not to drink as much as you need to block out the crying babies and recirculated farts, we might be telling you to err ever so slightly on the side of caution, at least enough to avoid an extremely awkward phone call to Aunt Judy telling her that she's actually going to have to park the car and pick you up from TSA jail. Your family is already disappointed in you enough as is without finding out that you drunkenly tried to smoke an American Spirit in the lavatory. [photo via]