With holiday season officially upon us, today I'm figuring out which of my pants have the most give in the waist in preparation for tomorrow's ceremonious eating into oblivion. Maybe the holidays mean returning to the place you once swore you'd never go back to, or in my case, a journey to foreign lands you may not belong, where the preferred footwear choice is a Birkenstock and the women don't shave their legs, much less their pits (I'm in Berkeley). For many of us, the holidays mean spending time with people with whom your only thing in common is DNA or a last name. As a seasoned expert in how to cope with extensive periods of awkward family time, I give you some ways to kill the hours with your "different" relatives during the holidays that may come in handy this Thanksgiving. None of these are groundbreaking, but I find lists very helpful in managing anxiety, so take a deep breath with me and let's go through this together. [Arrested Development scene via]