My Holiday Gift Wish List: Stuff I Want You Might Want Too, Pt. I

1. Wine Of The Month Club Subscription

I've (not so) secretly been wanting this as a gift for a while and thinks it's genius. At $29.95 per month plus shipping, you can buy someone a subscription for however many months you feel is appropriate to your budget, and your recipient will be delivered two expert-chosen bottles of wine every month, each from different vineyards around the world. Membership includes "tasting notes," information on the vineyards and food pairing suggestions for each of the wines of the month. For the record, I call bullshit on all of that really obtuse yet extraordinarily specific wine chatter when people say stuff like, "I'm getting a Tuscan sandalwood mixed with wild plum early in the nose" and "picking up notes of mocha and with hint of blueberry aftertaste." Oh, do you? Weird, since there was no mocha or plum or any of those random ingredients you're perceiving in the notes involved in making it. All of that is totally subjective, pretentious bollocks. You know what I think it tastes like? Wine. "Getting notes of stomped grapes and fermented Jesus Juice." But there is true wine knowledge in how it's made, what the different kinds of grapes from parts of the world they're made from taste like and all that jazz, that affect its taste for real that I'd love to learn and feel like a grownup for knowing.