"Best 2K I Ever Spent!" Living Vicariously Through Ultra Music Fest

by SUSANNAH LONG · March 31, 2010

Steve Aoki continues to swirl his happy eyebrows all over the Miami Ultra Music Festival. We realized that Ultra reflects all the beautiful facets of us when Aoki hit up the Dim Mak Records party to soak up some Fischerspooner, Afrojack, Shinichi Osawa, and more.

While Nor'easter winds roll into the Big Apple, the kids down in Miami are doin' all right. The Grey Goose and the carafes of grain alcohol are flowing freely, and, if these pics are to be believed, everyone's making beautiful and often inappropriate memories together.

[Aoki Showers Hipsters in Champagne at Ultra]

[Best 2K I Ever Spent! Ultra Music Festival]

So we've been bringing you updates on the 2010 Ultra Music Fest for a few days now, and the Dim Mak carousing did seem totally familiar to us. It was like the E! True Hollywood Story of our dreams, emotions, and misadventures. Read on . . .

We have been so excited by the word "sodomy" on the wall that we have pointed to our t-shirts.

We have sucked in our cheeks in an attempt to appear slimmer.

We have proudly displayed our implants.

We have been really cute, but have had no idea where the camera was.

We have worn white formal shorts

We have been concentrating on our white formal shorts when we were supposed to be doing other things.

We have made love to the mic; We have been unsettled by people making love to the mic.

We have been a neon logo cat.

We have been ill-prepared by our former career as a communist Nascar cheerleader.

On those days when our implants are missing, we have proudly displayed our chest hair.

We have been cooler than everyone else, and we have known it.

We have had lustrous tresses.

We have been transported by the beats.

We have thrown our hands in the air like we just don't care, even though we do care, deeply.

We have been smooshed against the partition by other people throwing their hands in the air like they just don't care.

We have pondered how we got a lady-friend so much cuter than us.

We have made crazy eyes.

We have been serious artists.

We have been awesome.

We have found a quiet moment for reflection, breast-ogling.

We have been cast-members of The Real Housewives of Miami.

[All photos from The Cobra Snake]