MatchaPapi: Is Drake Trying To Be The New Gwyneth Paltrow?

by Millie Moore · August 2, 2017

    We always knew Drake was, at heart, a basic bitch. Let's take a look at some evidence, shall we?

    1. He is forever making a fool of himself by pining over that fuckboy who will never reciprocate his feelings. And yes, Rihanna is most definitely a fuckboy.
    2. He drunk texts people he shouldn't be drunk texting. And yes, we're talking about J. Lo.
    3. He's all "I wanna get a tattoo that means something," and then goes and gets a tattoo that he will inevitably regret. White girls get correlating tats with their besties of Dave Matthews Band lyrics (and have a falling out a year later), and Drake gets Lil Wayne's literal face.
    4. He uses public forums like a diary and broadcasts his melodrama.
    5. He is literally obsessed with matcha
    6. He aspires to be Gwyneth Paltrow

    Yes, you read those last two tidbits correctly, and they actually go hand in hand. Drake has recently invested in MatchaBar. Some rappers invest in alcohol brands or basketball teams, but Drake goes and invests in a niche eatery devoted to our fave trendy superfood. Perhaps he should change his handle to @MatchaPapi?

    CEO of MatchaBar Graham Fortgang says of his latest investor, "Inspired by [Drake's] hustle, MatchaBar is innovating the energy space...[MatchaBar] is humbled by his decision to get behind our 'better energy' platform."

    Wow. We never thought we would hear the words "matcha" and "hustle" in the same sentence. After all, when we usually talk about matcha, we act like we love it so much that we would pledge a sorority with it. But we guess giving matcha a hip-hop twist is pretty cool too. 

    Drake, matcha. Matcha, Drake. Who would've thought?

    [Photos via @champagnepapi, @_katekramer]