Let's face it: everyone you know who has obnoxiously embraced the matcha-drinking, crystal-rubbing, judges-you-when-you-eat-a-burger lifestyle would have made out with your boyfriend in college for a couple of bumps (in fact, they probably did). You can't achieve full Goopitude without first being a total party girl.
Which is why we were hardly surprised when the Goop queen herself revealed some of her past party girl habits.
On a new episode of Dax Shepard's (random, we know) podcast, Armchair Expert, Gwyneth Paltrow got into some of the dirty details of her wilder days. Let's just say she was a little more relatable back then.
"I smoked a pack a day probably until I was 25 years old," she said. "Like wake up and light a cigarette, I really was into it - I loved it." OK, same.
She also dabbled with MDMA (also same), but of course she had to call it "a shamanic experience."
"I had a lot of trauma come up and I was crying," she said. "But it wasn't like, I'm at a rave with my shirt off." Sounds like she got a bad batch if you ask me, but to each her own.
And despite all the wellness guru-approved benefits of marijuana, it appears GP will be sticking to the CBD varietals - she once smoked too much weed and started hallucinating. But really, who hasn't?
Ultimately, the big question still remains: has she ever actually smoked crack to avoid eating cheese from a can?
[Photo via @gwynethpaltrow]