What Your Gap Year Says About You

So you can run a 20 minute mile and can do a pushup, which means you were eligible to be an athlete at an Ivy League. Congratulations, you have a pulse! And while you were always told that you have a lot of potential by your high school teachers, you never quite reached it. The solution? An extra year in high school trapped with a bunch of hormonal cyclones who have, like, a third of your muscle mass and are half your height because they're still going through puberty and you're a natural born athlete. Awkward. But you made it through your fifth or sixth year of high school with flying colors by taking BS courses and go into an upper tier college that, let's face it, you didn't really deserve to be at considering your fellow classmates at the ripe age of 18 have joined MENSA, are polyglots, or have invented apps. 

You majored in either economics, communications, or business administration. You also partied your ass off to compensate for spending an extra year of high school locked up in East Bumfuck, New England while all your friends were off doing body shots and keg stands at college. Consequently, as you were making up for lost time, you had to take yet another gap year to get your shit together. Your parents either make you do an internship while going to therapy or straight up go to rehab. You then went back to college and graduate with people who are so young that you probably babysat for them at one point. 

You made a career for yourself in either media or finance where you continue to party your ass off. So no, that extra year you stayed in college never helped you mature, but mature people are boring. You still talk about college like it was the best four years of your life, when really, it was shitty house parties and a lame bar scene. You probably have not dated someone - like the adult version of dating - since, like, high school or early college. You probably don't use the word "date" like an adult would, you say, "we were talking" or "we were hanging out" or worst of all "we were a thing." The boys you date are probably bros and their Tinder pics are of them at Spring Weekend at college, holding up a gang sign with their friends at college, or at a frat party with some sort of theme at (you guessed it) college. You met them while at the bar or you were the drunkest at a networking event that Equinox holds, and they honestly weren't listening to half of the things you're saying because they're waiting for the opportunity to bring up the time they got a blowjob from a girl with a tongue piercing, or even worse, ask you "What's the craziest thing you've ever done?" So yeah, at least you're not as childish as them. And you're really fun to be around! You'll find your footing eventually.

[Photo via @taftschool]