DJ's Got Us Fallin' In Love Again, An Open Letter To Elijah Wood

by Courtney McGowan · February 3, 2012

    When the crew caught wind that someone by the name of DJ Elijah Wood was doing a set at The Wooly, we immediately jumped on board.  Was it THE Elijah Wood? Frodo Baggins Elijah Wood? Baby blue eyes Elijah Wood?

    Hidden amongst a sea of 100 Zach Galifinakises (Galifinakii?) stood an obsession we never knew we had.  Bestill our hearts, 'twas THAT Elijah Wood.

    Performing under the alias DJs Wooden Wisdom, Elij and his partner Turquoise had all the messenger bags in the air, blowing the beards off every Wooly patron.

    Not only does E Wood straight up kill it in the Shire, homeboy can actually DJ.  And get this- he uses actual vinyls. Totally Middle-Earth.

    One look at this pint-sized Renaissance man and we were all smitten.  Beyond smitten.

    "He has eyes as blue as the deep blue sea," Sam reiterated.

    "Oh my god, the Harry Potter dude," Rachelle remarked.

    Seeing him jam so enthusiastically while donning those white Beats by Dre headphones awakened the tween fan girl in all of us.  It was like Flipper circa 1996 all over again.

    "My height requirement has officially changed forever," said 5'1" Rachel.


    The wool flannel blazer, the slim-cut jeans, the delicate sips of whiskey from a mason jar, it was simply out of hand.  Then, he played Yelle.  Opinions were solidified.  We were all in love.

    "Did you feel as weird as I did, waking up and realizing you had a crush on Elijah Wood?" Chelsea asked.

    Only slightly, only slightly.

    So Elijah, basically what we're saying is, we're into it.  We like what we hear.  We like what we see.  Let's get married, all of us.