Letter to the editor:
Dear Rachelle,
I LOVED your post on "How to Buy a Bike in NYC!" I'm happy to see that I've been a positive influence and you're making a concerted effort to reduce your carbon footprint. However, I hate to break it to you, but buying a bike doesn't make up for driving a gas-guggling, anti-environmental Range Rover all over the Hamptons for the past three months. Sorry...
I know you're overwhelmed with guilt...but, wait! I know of a solution to rectify your green faux pas.
There's a simple way for you to feel better about yourself and your excessive carbon emissions usage. You can purchase carbon offsets!!! You simply go to a site like carbonfund.org which actually *calculates* the carbon emissions your SUV emits. And get this, it puts a *price* tag on its carbon footprint! You can pay, what could be called a type of "penance," for simply $90.70.
You're probably asking, "What? No way! How is that possible??" That's easy - your $90.70 will go toward offsetting your carbon footprint by funding projects carbon-reducing projects. Can you believe it? We can now put prices on how our carbon footprint!
Problem solved.
I do have to point out that the process seems a bit redunant. I mean, wouldn't it be easier to rent a different car? Well, what's done is done, and all I can do is hope that you don't make the mistake twice.
XOXO