There are two types of people in the world: those who know - and are obsessed - with Caroline Calloway, and those who have absolutely no idea who she is. At this point, there are so many layers of knowledge one needs to fully appreciate the Twitterverse's reaction to the very highly anticipated story published on The Cut on Tuesday, written by Calloway's former bestie, and, as it happens, ghostwriter, Natalie Beach.
Calloway, for the uninitiated, is an Instagram star of sorts, whose claim to fame is less related to influencer-quality photos, but rather long-winded captions highlighting the absolute romance of her life (at least in the beginning). After being called out for her scammy "creativity workshops" back in January, the West Village resident has
gone more and more off the rails started posting more, sharing and reacting to press snippets and online criticism, and posting stories of herself crying on the floor of her West Village apartment while making paper renditions of Matisse's Blue Nudes (she's selling those, too, in case you're interested).
As part of her study in social media oversharing, Calloway has publicly prepared for her ex-friend's exposé for almost a week, prompting her followers (both the ones who love her and the ones who simply can't look away) to anxiously await the drop. Well, the story is finally live, and man, was it worth the wait. If not for the bombs dropped in the article itself, then for the hilarious Tweets about it all.
CAROLINE CALLOWAY WHERE ARE THE YALE PLATES???
— LIL BITCH (@cacasmiddlename) September 10, 2019
this caroline calloway story is white twitters popeye sandwich
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) September 11, 2019
Caroline Calloway when Natalie was alone on the streets of Amsterdam for 8 hours pic.twitter.com/12Kr2uPgSf
— Sophie Ross (@SophRossss) September 11, 2019
i made a caroline calloway erasure pic.twitter.com/WVWet33Bb1
— justin w (@fakeirl) September 8, 2019
in summary and in conclusion, you see, it wasn’t I who hurt Natalie, it was adderall
— caroline calloway bot (@carocallowaybot) September 5, 2019
THIS IS MY CAT PERSON https://t.co/sbJZTTAz3x
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) September 10, 2019
What if The Cut Caroline Calloway article is the friends we made along the away?
— nikkipedia👩🎤 (@nikkikoppers) September 6, 2019
me: has never heard of miss caroline calloway
my brain at 1am on a tuesday: but what the fuck happened to those yale plates?? pic.twitter.com/UkNoO5bHDP
— S (@Miss_Sinha27) September 11, 2019
Me one hour ago: I don’t really know who Caroline Calloway is and I don’t really care
Me after reading this: https://t.co/XLv1PMOW20 pic.twitter.com/mpABuoPVJQ
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) September 10, 2019
You don’t get to jump on the Caroline Calloway ship today just as it reaches denouement. We have been preparing for this for months. You have so much homework to do before you’re entitled to this payoff...
— stealer of the Yale plates (@whysimonewhy) September 6, 2019
Live footage of everyone on Twitter reading the Caroline Calloway story: pic.twitter.com/vOZ6rR67vM
— Ellie Hall (@ellievhall) September 11, 2019
Caroline Calloway on her story for the following 4 months: pic.twitter.com/bcJDMroyFb
— Aurie (@smolbeansatan) September 10, 2019
If I don’t wake up tomorrow morning to a Caroline Calloway exposé on @thecut, I will be very upset. I wasted many productive hours refreshing their website when I could’ve been gluing paper together and selling it to my followers for $160 a piece.
— kelsey j barnes (@kelseyjbarnes) September 9, 2019
“Who is Caroline Calloway?”
— Sophie Ross (@SophRossss) September 8, 2019