What's The Biggest Star In Our Universe?

by COLLEEN KROPP · August 6, 2008

    kayneThe real question is Who? – and if you go by the pretentious pun delivered last night throughout Madison Square Garden by the fratboy-esque nude blowup doll who was lowered down from the rafters, the answer is obviously Kanye West. Revolving his "Glow in the Dark" tour around a corny, yet entertaining, spaceship crash landing theme, Mr. West no doubt believes this message himself.

    As far as performances go, Kanye certainly tried to out-do himself, all the while making sure that, besides the ending number with Lupe Fiasco and the one "scene" where he is consumed by a man-eating space monster, he is the only animate figure on stage.

    His musicians and backup singers, rather than mingling with him, were restricted to a platform set in front of Kanye and lowered from the set. Surrounded by flames and the space terrain, he has some banter in between songs with his spaceship, Jane – the dialogue reminiscent of a poorly scripted, archaic film. However, I think it was that element of the show that made it all the more enjoyable, providing some chuckles amidst the intensity of the flames and the beats.

    In a moment of feigned supplication, Kanye calls on God for help, making promises and a litany of laments if only he would guide him home. This could only be the proper intro for one number – "Jesus Walks." It was very well done, and like "Gold Digger," the entire motley crue that I'll call the audience went wild in their participation of filling in the lyrics. (Note: the "Gold digger" in this case was a projected image from the sexually riled spaceship, Jane. Hilarity ensues)

    The overarching theme/question throughout the show – how will Kanye EVER make it back to Earth? Everyone knows that shooting stars are transient and don't have enough energy to power the spaceship for a long journey (insert: interlude of Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" – no really, that happened)….

    Intense moment of recognition – OF COURSE!!! Kanye is the key!!! Well, long story longer – Kanye, being the perfect human being we all know him to be, powers up Jane and returns safely to Earth, aptly followed by "Touch the Sky."

    Turns out you can be a self-loving douche and an incredible performer at the exact same time – a physical paradox that I've come to embrace (or maybe just accept) – hey, entertainment is entertainment, folks.

    [Photo via MTV]