All Tomorrow's Parties: The Nobody's Guide To Looking Like A Somebody

Goals determine how you behave and who you go after at parties. Based on your focus, you’ll choose between whispering gossip or screaming jokes, throwing ice at the bouncer or kissing him when he kicks you out. (As demonstrated by me at Plastic, a few years ago.) My goals have ranged from getting lucky to getting drunk to getting hired to getting a story to getting to the bathroom before the guy from the bus fines me for not having a ticket. Once you've got a clear destination, the path will present itself. Note: That path may include bleeding from your forehead after a drag queen pushes you into a glass corner for stealing her dance spot. “Is that all you've got?” My goal that night was to get attention; do you think I managed?