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DJ

There are two types of DJs: trashy deadbeat DJs and trust fund baby DJs. Do you know why trashy deadbeats and trust fund babies gravitate towards being a DJ? Because they never have to worry about working hard or having talent since the job is literally pressing play and partying. (Sidenote: They also never have to worry about meeting their girlfriends' fathers because the girls that would actually date them did not grow up with fathers.) Trashy DJs are guys who look like they never shower and sell fake MDMA to 13 year olds as a sidegig. Looking at you, Diplo and Skrillex. Trust fund baby DJs are an entirely different breed. Think Paris Hilton or Brody Jenner. Just release a surprisingly good song that surpasses people's already low expectations of you ("Stars Are Blind," anyone?) and learn to be good at operating an iPod. Then you're totally golden. Brody Jenner didn't even have to release a single, but he's a good looking DUDE, so he doesn't have to work nearly as hard to prove himself as a girl would. 

[Photo via @brodyjenner]

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