Father Bloomberg Thinks We're All Alcoholics

by MADDY MADISON · February 15, 2008


    [Image: Liquidmesh]

    When they came for the smokers, I said nothing because I was not a (regular) smoker. When they came for the trans-fat-loving-elasticized-waistband-recluses I said nothing because I was not a frequent McDonald’s customer, depending on how you define frequent. But now they’ve come for me, a typical New Yorker who wants nothing more than a check with more than one zero on it delivered to my door by handsome men bearing cupcakes. If Bloomberg has his way then that dream will no longer be a reality...

    The federal government recently agreed to hand out $1,200 checks to its citizens but our mayor’s been hitting the sauce a little too hard. Bloomberg is blocking the money shower from raining down on the streets of New York because he thinks the check distribution plan is “like giving a drink to an alcoholic.” Now the rest of us will have to take up drinking if we’re not lushes already.


    [New York Sun]