NYC Bachelors Are Going Nowhere Fast...

by BILLY GRAY · November 9, 2009

    The New York Times Real Estate section deserves some credit. Every Sunday for the past year its feature story has admirably tried to put a fresh spin on the same bottom line: we're screwed. But this week's story on the decline of bachelor pads delivered another form of bad news, especially for the city's single ladies. If the article's subjects are indicative of New York's single men, NYC's bachelors are going nowhere fast...

    Jason Brooks, while technically a bachelor, only became one after a divorce last year. So really, he represents a return of the bachelor pad, right? We wouldn't wish divorce on anyone. But it's hard to muster pity for Brooks, a man who 1) seems to have jumped right out of a Nick Hornby novel as he lives off the royalties of his bygone music career and 2) complains about his cramped SoHo studio when the $1,600 he pays in rent could get him a decent place in dozens of other neighborhoods throughout the city. Also, the man devoted two walls of his old Tribeca pad to his "vast sneaker collection."

    Joe Tandle sounds like a nice guy. He hosts monthly movie nights (on a giant inflatable pool!) in his humble Bushwick abode. He realizes that he got "inundated with this consumerist American dream" before realizing there were more important things in life. His greatest extravagance is a hot tub.  However, the 32 year old man freely admits to moving to New York in pursuit of the "Sex and The City lifestyle," a transgression we can't forgive until our personalized movie night invites arrive in the mail. And we get to pick the film.

    David Friedlander moved from a $1,900/month one bedroom in Chelsea to a $750/month five-story "fun-house" in picturesque Brooklyn Heights. So far, so good. Unfortunately for the former caterer, his cooking appliances are limited to a toaster oven and all dishes are washed in the bathtub. Still, that's what delivery is for. And the man might be on to something as his apartment still lacks heating in mid-November: a bedmate is no longer a luxury, but an essential liferaft.

    Urtzi Grau has some cool stuff going on. He's an architect. He's from Bilbao. He runs a successful company with his girlfriend. He...sleeps in a 6x8 wooden box on wheels? Ok, the "pods" sprung from his own creative, design-oriented mind. They're practical in that they bring privacy to shared loft spaces. And they pay homage to the current vampire craze. But we suggest another "tool of seduction" (maybe a partition) if you don't want your sex life to join the undead in earthly limbo.

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