It's Saturday, the sun is shining, and your J. Crew one piece finally came in the mail. A beach trip is certainly in order. Whether you decided to hop on the F to Coney Island or you're riding the A all the way out to Far Rockaway, you're in for a loooong ride. And because the Manhattan Transit Authority is the place where all parts of the 99% converge, you're likely to see some crazy shit. Due to pure overexposure, you're also likely inured to said crazy shit. But it's summer and the weekend and you're wearing a sexy ass suit, so why not make a game out of it? We've fashioned the perfect little drinking game to add a bit of ~fun~ to your beach commute, even though it's perfectly illegal. As long as you're not excessively rowdy, we'll never tell the MTA that that's not coffee in your Starbucks cup.
Take a sip if....
-You see an unwanted advance, finish drink if one of the crew is the subject of said advance
-Someone tries to stealthily snapchat another passenger
-Someone tries to read while standing up, finish drink if it's a Jonathan Franzen novel
-The MTA majorly inconveniences you (reroute, excessive wait, spontaneous unexplained stop, etc.)
-You see an ad for breast implants, finish drink if it says "Dream Big"
-A man takes up >1.5 seats (won't say >1, don't want any alcohol-induced comas on my hands)
-A woman takes up a seat with her bag
-A person with a seat pretends not to see a standing passenger that deserves the seat more
-A group of performers boards
-A teen listens to death metal too loudly through his earbuds (then tell him that life gets better)
-Someone tries to fit their bike on a crowded car
-You see a brawl, be sure to choose a side and drink more if they lose
-Someone stumbles when the subway jolts and doesn't quite know how to recover emotionally
- A couple on a first date tries to get to know eachother over your ruckus
-You see a couple cradling eachother tenderly
-You see a bucket hat, finish drink if it's denim
-Someone misses the subway by a second and grimaces dramatically
-Someone dozes off
-A kid screams, finish drink if their parent is more annoying than them
-Another group of hoodlums is consuming unidentified substances out of opaque cups
-Someone begins to catch on to what you're doing
[Photo via @brandymelvilleusa]