Open Letter To Heads Of State

by LAUREN BELSKI · March 26, 2008

    heads of state [McGreevey and Paterson]

    Dear Governors,

    I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kind of liked it better when you guys were all lying bastards. Now that this whole “truth movement” is underway am I going to have to be equally as forthcoming when disclosing my own “number” to new boyfriends? And, sorry, just because you think it’s ok to come clean about your wild 20s, don’t come looking at me to justify your actions just because I’m in my wild 20s. Because, as a spokesperson for those in their 20s, I think it’s safe to say we’re pretty much ok with denying our habits to get by professionally. Anyway, if what you’re trying to do by confessing all of this is to ensure that, later, I get off the hook for the petty scandals I find myself in now, then I guess I’m cool with that. But can you refrain from anymore sexcapades? I’m really sick of picturing you naked. Thanks for your time. Stay sober/chaste.

    Sincerely, Rah Rah