Opening Ceremony To Compete Against La Esquina And The Standard At The AdiCup

Opening Ceremony is SO ready for the Adidas Adicup 2010, which takes place every year at Pier 40. They'll be competing against groups from The Smile, La Esquina, The Standard, and ACE + Q.  Today, they posted their official team, and we judged their relative ferocity.-

According to their website, Opening Ceremony is in it to win it this year. They CLAIM to have logged hours on the astro turf in preparation, but lets face it, as a Nation, we're not really good at soccer...(La Esquina totally has the advantage there.) This Championship will be won by pure intimidation and distraction techniques.  Let's see how Team OC ranks....

Bachelor ahem, PLAYER Number 1:Daniel

This is Daniel. He likes "100 Miles & Running" by NWA, which we have never heard of but are immediately downloading. His Style is "in your face" and his nickname is "Dirt Nasty". If he literally introduces himself as "Dirt Nasty", then we're guessing he's pretty ferosh.

Player Number 2: Terrill

Ok, first of all, Terrill, no tye dye on the soccer pitch, okay? That's not gonna scare those guys from La Esquina. He does make up for it with his music choice: Metallica, and he says his soccer style is chicken with head-cut-off. If he means that literally, Esquina won't know what hit them.

Player Number 3: Khira

Khira is a girl, which is good, because historically FEMALE American soccer players are better than MALE. Hopefully the competition won't google Khira, because as soon as they find that she's been "completely swept up in 19th-century British literature" since reading Tess of the d'Urbervilles, NO ONE will be scared of her on the soccer field. Khria's self-described getting pumped music is "Ready For Whatever" by T.I., and her self-described style is..."ready for whatever". (Hardy not rubbing off on ya, there, Khira?) Khira's nickname on the field is "Helen Reddy", which makes absolutely no sense to us so we're beginning to think that this is all a ruse. The La Esquina guys are probably reading this on their computers and laughing, and will keep laughing til she kicks their asses on the field this Saturday. Yes, Khira "Helen Reddy" Jordan is totally Team OC's secret weapon.

Player Number 4:Ramell

Ramell is the biggest member of Team OC, and the most threatening, so please ignore the fact that he loves Queen. (He also likes Mickey Factz) His soccer style is "like a rock", (is he the goalie?), and his nickname is P.Diddy, cause he "can't stop, won't stop". If we were cheerleaders, we would totally choose Ramell to cheer for during the game, of only because his name lends itself so perfectly to a cheer. (Ramell! Ramell! He'll give em hell!)

Player Number 5: Jon

Jon listens to Gucci Mane and only Gucci Mane: he feels like branching out in his music selection will only divert his attention from soccer training. His style is tenacious, high-energy, and fast. His nickname: Hops....like my bunny in 3rd grade. Fierce.

Conclusion: They may be a bit of a hodge-podge team, but they've already won our hearts, so we'll be rooting for them on Saturday...at least until some of the other teams offer up their players for our analysis! Good luck, Team OC!