Jesse James is in rehab, perhaps for sex addiction, more likely for prison tattoo poisoning. [TMZ]
Shannen Doherty gets giant thumbs down from all of America for her dancing. [Radar]
George Lopez solves mystery of Lindsay Lohan's coke feet, so we can all breathe easy now. [NYDN]
Irish gourmets want to take back cuisine from the French, will use car bombs if necessary. [Times]
Matt Damon will appear on 30 Rock, possibly father real-life children for Tina Fey. [EW]
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