Every B*tch In New York Is Talking About Their Friend Katie Who "Needs To Be Alone For A While"

by Stephanie Maida · July 19, 2018

    Every summer, without fail, I somehow manage to lose my headphones. Usually, I pop into the nearest Duane Reade to pick up a cheapo pair, but now that I require those weird, iPhone specific ones, I've decided that I will clean my room and find them eventually. In the meantime, I've been walking around the city sans music, unable to pretend that I'm living in an emo music video. Sad.

    Nevertheless, I'm keeping myself amused with bits of conversation I eavesdrop from every group of twenty and thirty-something women I come across. (I have submitted quite a few nuggets to @overheardnewyork.) And whether they're dressed in SoulCycle gear or brunch appropriate separates, there's one thing I notice they all have in common: they can't stop talking about how their friend Katie (or Kelsey, or Kelly) really, really "needs to be alone for a while."

    You see, summer is officially "uncuffing season," so I'm not surprised that generically named white girls are getting dumped at alarming rates. However, what's it to her friends that she's trying to move on?

    Maybe Katie is looking for love in all the wrong places (Tinder), but I'll be the first to say that I admire her optimism. After all, she's newly single and still, apparently, believes that "the one" is out there. Who cares if she's booked a date for every night of the week? What do you think she should be doing, chatty Cathys? Crying into her pint of Halo Top so you could discuss how "tragic" she is? Or perhaps out with you guys, so you can exchange glances behind her back whenever she brings up her ex?

    No. I, for one, support both Katie and her endeavors. Life is too short to be alone for a while. Let Katie LIVE, people. But please, don't stop talking shit about her until I find my headphones.

    [Photo via Reshot]