Is This The Greatest Summer Bucket List Of All Time?

by Millie Moore · July 17, 2017

    In short? FUCK YEAH. 

    A couple of days ago, a teenager left her summer bucket list in a changing room at Urban Outfitters, because where else would a teenager who writes shit like this forget their summer bucket list? She's still anonymous, so we'll call her Brittni because, let's face it, her name is probably Brittni. In turn, Twitter user @scorpiosars thought it was completely necessary to post Brittni's bucket list on a public forum. Because it absolutely was. Let's take a look, shall we?

    Fix homescreen? Give two blowjobs? Pet a giraffe? Have a lemonade stand? HU w/ Jacob (again)?! All while being drunk the entire time? 

    We have to say, Brittni's ambitious AF, and we totally commend it. All the haters need to fall back because we were all this obnoxious at her age - if not more so - but at least girlfriend is going hard in the paint this summer, right? Talk about a ~*~sUmMeR 2017 nO rEgReTz~*~ ! Also, any girl who says they didn't make a bucket list like this when they were teenybopper sits on a throne of lies. I know I made one, it's still on a wall in my childhood bedroom, along with a bunch of John Mayer quotes:

    Fuck it up right? By then I was a boarding school dropout and got kicked out of prep school for drinking in the girls' bathroom (and yes, Hilary Holmes, you're still on my shit list for ratting me out). So how could I fuck it up right even more? Do something wild, no regrets? Well, I graduated college at 25 so yes, I obviously did some wild things, but yes I do regret it. And who did I mean when I was talking about my love interest? My high school Latin teacher, of course. 

    What can I say? He was stupid hot and I always intentionally broke the school dress code by wearing too-short shorts so he would dress code me. Why his name is inside a tracing of my freakishly large 15 year old hand... I do not know. 

    So maybe our girl Brittni is in the right here for being this goal oriented. When she applies for colleges, she will absolutely be a shoe-in for Yale or Princeton because of her work ethic and tenacity. And she will probably be a shoe-in for a job at a hedge fund because of her determination and, if she thinks being drunk all the time is great, wait 'til she finds out about cocaine! You go girl!

    [Photo via Getty]