This Poor Woman's In-Laws Are Literally Trying To Kill Her - With Mushroom Powder!

by Stephanie Maida · August 7, 2019

    One of my favorite, absolutely not-so-guilty pleasures is Ask Polly, The Cut's Agony Aunt column written by the hilarious and unflinchingly wise Heather Havrilesky. Oftentimes, when people come seeking advice about love, dating, and the modern malaise of loneliness, I quite literally read it and weep. But this week's letter has made me, and the rest of the internet, so freaking angry.

    This poor woman's in-laws are trying to kill her! And they are totally unabashed about it!

    "Dear Polly," the letter begins. "I have a very severe allergy to mushrooms. I carry an EpiPen, and I have been hospitalized multiple times because of exposure to this food. One time, I began convulsing in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. My husband politely explained this to his parents when we started dating, and I was invited to family meals."

    And, like any normal, life-valuing people, they made it a point to avoid the fungal ingredient that is mostly flavorless and adds no value to any meal whatsoever, right? Wrong. So wrong.

    "Since then, most meals we have shared at my in-laws’ house have had very limited options for me. Somehow, they manage to find a way to add mushrooms to almost everything. One time, they made a point to make a special plate of mushrooms and pass it around... They even added mushroom powder to the mashed potatoes at one holiday dinner."

    Mushroom powder! To mashed potatoes! That is INSANE.

    And in case you're wondering whether this family had a particular attachment to mushrooms before their son married someone whom they could kill: No, they did not. "My husband told me that mushrooms were not a common dish served by his parents before he started dating me."

    Needless to say, the absolute disregard for his wife's health has caused a rift between the woman's husband and his family, and ignited one of Polly's best-ever responses. Of course, Twitter also had plenty to say.

    I, for one, am still thinking about the mushroom powder. I really hope someone puts these people on a watch list.