Communidating: A Modern Woman's Guide To (Keeping The Upper Hand) Dating In a Digital World

by guestofaguest · October 7, 2011

    As if the ratio of men to women in Manhattan weren’t enough to make you want to pack up and move home, does anyone else find it increasingly hard to keep up with the rules of texting, tweeting, facebook sharing, Foursquare check-in-ing, etc.? How long, for instance, should you wait to text back the boy you are trying to make it happen with? Is it appropriate to friend him at this stage? We’ve laid out some guidelines, as well as the products to help you achieve dating bliss in a increasingly confusing digital world.

    Rule #1 Get out of your house This is very important and yes, seemingly obvious. But, it is possible to live completely insulated by technology within your apartment and never leave. Why go to the party when you can watch all of your friends complain about the long wait at the bar over Twitter and Foursquare (right Warhol?). Wrong. Your trade tools (smartphones, tablets, etc) should only be used as a means to an end: actual human interaction.

    Rule #2: Stick to one Medium If you start planning a date on text, stick to text. There’s nothing worse than having hundreds of ways to reach someone and not knowing which one is best. Facebook messages get lost in the mix, Twitter is too public and Skype is simply too forward. And, with that being said:

    Rule #3: Stick to text messaging Check out these reasons why text messaging is always best from HowAboutWe. And remember, while it goes without saying it seems to always need to be said: if you are using text messaging, be careful about what you share and with whom. Those racy photos will always have a chance of coming back to haunt you even if you’re not Scarlett Johansen. And, no one wants to have to worry about having missing underwear photos of themselves floating out in the universe.


    A breakdown of why texting is better:

    You have time to think about what you are going to say

    Phone calls can be painfully awkward

    A text can tell you a lot about a person (do they use emotes?, "lol", etc.)

    A text lets you write out what you’re too shy to say

    On texting while in a relationship: There are some definite rules to live by once you enter a relationship regarding text messaging. Here is a list of text messages you should never be caught sending to your man. [The Gloss]

    Rule #4 Clean up your Facebook Page

    And any other public profile you have out there.This is the very first thing a guy is going to look at when he starts dating you. And for that matter, it will be what every new girlfriend your ex dates will compare herself to for months. Even if your profile is private, there is a point when you will befriend your guy, and you better make sure your profile is prepared for that day. Choose a good picture, monitor your wall, and make sure your status updates aren’t lame. Lastly, leave your relationship status alone. It will become the 8,000 pound gorilla in the room. Why even go there? [More rules here]

    Rule #5: Video Dating For that long distance relationship, there are a host of tools out there for you to utilize. Before you start video skyping on a regular basis, there are some rules to keep in mind (like the fact that screen shots exist and are easily captured. For the best video dating etiquette head [HERE].

    Rule #6: Don’t Overshare We should include: “Don’t share your significant other’s private information via social media without their consent.” Some people can’t get enough of checking in their every move on Foursquare, or tweeting every single move they made over the span of a day, others do not. If your guy is not into the social media thing, you should respect him for it and move on. It’s also very important to be careful what you are yourself sharing on social media platforms during the very murky waters of the beginning stages of a relationship. Every move of yours could be scrutinized. Keep this in mind.

    Rule #7: Don’t be afraid to try something new Sure, dating sites have been around forever, but there are loads of new, fun options for meeting other singles in your area with your digital tools. Why not suggest a random quirky date on the site “How About We” and see who’s up for it. Or, check out Grouper, a social club that will arrange drinks between two groups of friends that don’t know each other (3 guys, 3 girls) in your city. It beats sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself. When using these new sites, just remember: You have nothing to lose.

    We hope this is a good start towards helping you secure and maintain a happy and healthy dating life in a world full of geeks on smartphones. For more check out these “12 things we’d like to change about technology and dating in 2011

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