Trying to take your Spanx off before the guy you're hooking up with notices you're wearing them
Unless you are some sort of Cirque du Soleil acrobat, taking off your Spanx in a guy’s bedroom without giving away the secret that you’re actually wearing Spanx is going to be a trying task. We all know how tight Spanx are (though not as well as
Octavia Spencer, who wore 3 pairs of Spanx to the 2012 SAG Awards,) and we know that the only reasonable way to wrestle your bulging self out of them is to get the guy out of the room. Maybe he goes to the bathroom, or to the kitchen to get a drink. Great, right? He’s gone! Not so fast. Taking off Spanx is like trying to squeeze a hot dog into a pencil sharpener…it requires time and effort. If you’ve done the get-out-of-Spanx-fast routine multiple times you may be getting better at it and increasing your speed, but if you’re a first-timer, don’t count on the guy being out of the room long enough for you to do the dirty deed. The only good thing about this inevitably horrible situation is that many guys have no idea what Spanx actually are or what they do. But when you’re taking them off, rolling around on the floor like a Ninja Turtle, he’ll probably know that something’s up…
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