Daily Style Phile: The Ladies of Jersey Shore

by Cary Randolph Fuller · January 12, 2010

    Watching Jersey Shore raises a host of questions for the average twenty-something woman: "How do they dance like that?" "How can they possibly be attracted to those 'juiceheads?'" "What are their fathers thinking?" And most importantly: "Where did they get all that style?!"

    Last week our own Billy Gray deconstructed the guido-as-new-preppy phenomenon, comparing the former's love of Drakkar Noir and deliberately popped collars to the prepster's affinity for boat shoes and, well, accidentally popped collars. The gentlemen of Jersey Shore are rewriting the rules of style, no doubt about it.

    But it is the ladies of that gray-shingled Jersey palace who have captured our fashion imaginations, with their artfully sculpted, raven-hued locks and tan-flaunting crop tops that conjure visions of an earlier MTV hit, The Grind, or perhaps just your local strip joint. Where other starlets adhere to the same tired Hollywood trends, the girls of Jersey Shore march to the beat of their own fist pumps.

    Jenni "J Woww" Farley

    De facto group leader Jenni "J Woww" Farley pairs her sensible black slacks with bikini tops and stilettos when rocking the boardwalk. On the show daytime outfits usually incorporate tee shirts and cut-off jean shorts but not without a heavy dose of eyeliner and two-toned hair. J Woww's on-screen persona can best be described as "laidback"; she likes to have a good time without melodrama (unless strange girls call Snooki fat, in which case the rhinestone-studded gloves come off).

    Since the show became a hit, however, J Woww has toned down the skin (sort of) and classed up her image in cocktail dresses and timeless knee-high snakeskin boots. Hopefully these departures from her Seaside Heights ensembles are not permanent ones, as I'd have a hard time believing she was having so much fun at Karma in a tasteful sheath dress or pantsuit. Note to J-Woww: Don't lose your 'tude!

    Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola

    Early on in the season Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola stole the heart of Ronnie Ortiz-Magro (who unfortunately boasts no nickname), but I'm afraid her wardrobe sensibility hasn't captured my attention, as I cannot remember a thing she's worn except, possibly, a host of babydoll tops paired with shorts and stripper heels in the club. For Sammi it's all about the immaculately ironed locks, which battle DJ Pauly D's hair helmet for the title of Most High Maintenance 'Do In Seaside Heights. Note to Sammi Sweetheart: Let's see more outrageous outfits in 2010! You're famous now! Own those fifteen minutes!

    Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

    And then we have everyone's favorite representative of the Lollipop Guild, the ebullient Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi. Who doesn't love Snooki's fashion sense? Who but this tater tot could bust out back flips on a dance floor, completely disregarding the status of her mini-skirt? (Spoiler: She flashed everything.) Here's an example of a woman whose clothing choices are so essential to her being that she forgets when she is even wearing them. If only we could all be so lucky.

    Don't mistake Snooki's uninhibited love of acrobatics as a complete disregard for her "image". This is, after all the woman who "invented the freakin' poof!" Since Jersey Shore's debut one can only guess that Miss Polizzi's hairdo(n't) has prompted a raid on Bumpits from sea to shining sea.

    Now that Snooki is a bona fide star she's been stepping out in more refined outfits (thanks, perhaps, to that In Touch makeover), such as the Bebe parka and positively subdued style at left. I blame the limited skin exposure on colder temperatures. (It is January, after all, and not prime guido season, but I'm glad to know that the Jersey Shore girls haven't gone into hibernation and are simply wearing coats over their mini-dresses.) This appearance raises a startling question for Snooki, self-proclaimed Princess of Poughkeepsie: "Where is the poof?!" Note to Snooki: Keep one hand firmly on the teasing comb!

    Want to incorporate more guidette into your wardrobe?

    Take these ten cues from the ladies of Jersey Shore:

    1. Tan means never having to say you're sorry.

    2.When in doubt, blow it out. (I'm talking about hair.)

    3.Cut-off jean shorts can work for day or night. Just add heels.

    4.Opt for classic cuts: halter, crop, tube, and backless.

    5.Nothing flatters like a skimpy crotch-skimming dress.

    6.Pair it with a logo bag!

    7.Cold weather hurts, but keep baring those legs! Beauty knows no pain.

    8.A signature hairdo is a must-have. For Snooki it's that stratospheric poof. For J-Woww, ham. For Sammi, it's Ronnie's faux-hawk. (Aw!)

    9.Every time is the right time to strut in stilettos.

    10.Confidence is your best accessory. (And these girls have it in spades.)