New Low: Angry Short People, Men's Room Edition

by Alex Gilman · May 9, 2011

    Being a short guy probably has its fair share of frustrations. You can't get on all the rides at Six Flags, you have to spring for the front row at a concert if you want to see anything, and your parents broke your heart the day they had "the talk" with you about your dreams of playing in the NBA.

    Still, we all have challenges to overcome, and most of our tiniest friends handle their setbacks with class and dignity. Or, barring that, at least they don't grab a Sharpie and head to the nearest men's room dive bar.

    But I guess that doesn't apply to everyone, based on this little gem I discovered in the men's room at JP's Sports Bar & Grill on Wilshire. Yes, before you point it out, I took a picture while peeing—let's stay on topic here. Since the lighting in the filthy dive bar bathroom (See: Cha Cha Lounge's Legendary Pee-Stained Walls) was surprisingly dim (who would have thought?), here it is in slightly more detail:

    Yep, "Tall People Suck," inscribed at just about eye level- if you're 4'11". Look, I understand that it's much easier to hate than to envy: I do it all the time. But scrawling your hate message well below eye level isn't really going to accomplish much. If you want to get back at tall people, get creative! Fill their goofy, oversized sneakers with bugs, or string up fishing wire at the top of doorways, or something. Shit, Napoleon conquered most of Europe, and this is the best you've got?

    Unless this isn't even intended to be seen by tall people. What if this is the secret mark of the meeting place of the Little People Revolutionary Society? Maybe they hit a switch behind the urinal and it opens a secret door, like in Desperado, and they follow the Yellow Stained Road to a magical miniature world where they eat fun-sized candy bars and hatch secret plots against the height-y. If this is the case, regular-sized people should be kind of concerned. After all, they have both Sly Stallone and Tom Cruise on their side.

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