New Low: Telling the World About Your Rack Via SUV Vanity Plates

by Alex Gilman · May 27, 2011

    So here's a true dilemma: you're a chick with a great rack. I know, not too much of a dilemma so far, right? You can get guys to do things for you, like carry your bags, or buy you a drink, or murder somebody with a garden shovel. But here's the thing: sometimes, you've got to get in your fancy white Beamer to drive somewhere.

    And although it's a really nice car, with leather seats and everything, you've lost a natural advantage— nobody can see your giant boobs while you're hidden away in that giant SUV.

    So what do you do? Well, you've already got your totally sweet and not-at-all obnoxious Texas Longhorns badge on the door, so a second little badge of some chrome ta-ta's is only going to mess up the Feng Shui. As, presumably, would pasting a laminated photograph of your actual chest back there. So there's only one option left, and that's to get the message out via vanity license plate. And thus is "XLNT RAK" born, direct from the Land of Lincoln.

    Some takeaway thoughts: to whom do these automotive funbags belong? Is she a stripper, a porn star, or just a regular gal with oversized pride in her oversized assets? What journey took those boobs from Illinois to Texas to (presumably) Van Nuys? Do her kids have to ride in this car when she picks them up from school?

    And most importantly, does she know this hall-of-fame doucher? They have so much in common!

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