1 Oak Patrons: Watch Your Coats

Admittedly, I don cheaper threads for big nights out. Take the excitement and intrigue of a hot spot, add some alcohol, and voila! – I’ve lost something to the party gods. In most cases, it is credit card that I left behind the bar or the $200 cash that I had in my bag (“Where did all my money GO last night??”). If you’re anything like me, you may even lose your entire bag or an article of clothing. Like a coat. And apparently, this is especially so if you’re seated next to Lindsay Lohan.

We’re sure you’ve already read all about 22-year-old Maria Markova’s suit against Lohan for Lohan’s alleged theft of Markova’s mink coat while the two were seated next to each another in 1 Oak. We’re here to suggest that 22-year-olds who can’t keep track of their shit, along with older people who also can’t keep track of their shit, abstain from wearing $12,000 coats out to the bar.

Perhaps this is just my middle-class inner child screaming in frustration, but it seems that the $12,000 coat should warm the shoulders on tamer evenings. We suggest the opera, charity events, private parties, etc. Which leads us to the moral of this story: if the value of the item plus the cost of a lawsuit for its safe return outweighs the value derived from impressing other people, don’t wear it out to the club. Of course, we don’t know how important it is to Markova to impress other people, so we must withhold judgment. That said, we wish nothing but justice in Markova vs. Lohan and maybe some life lessons all around.