Candice Bergen Does Not Give A F*ck On Instagram, And It's Amazing

We all know and love Candice Bergen. From Murphy Brown, Boston Legal, Miss Congeniality, Bride Wars, Sex And The City and so on and so forth. On screen, she comes across as the perfect beautiful ice woman, all about professionalism. In real life, well on Instagram at least, the story's a bit different.

"Tired-ass Honky Ho" is all her bio states. A phrase which pops up in photos throughout her grid, emblazoned on an Emma Bridgewater mug, needlepointed on a pillow and embroidered on a Lingua Franca sweater, it is a leitmotif of sorts. As fabulous and gorgeous a life as Candice lives (between her Manhattan apartment and Hamptons home she's basically living in a Nancy Meyers movie set), she is also so wonderfully over appearances - as evidenced by her balloon lipped profile photo.

She'll post just about anything. Any snap that daughter Chloe Malle was clearly not ready for, a still life of items her new puppy Bruce has destroyed, her frothy nose after drinking a cappuccino, a random piece of large farm equipment, her art socks, fake toy feces that she likes to travel with, her dog Phyllis dressed up as the Pope, pretzels placed on her fingers like rings, a closeup of her eating a turkey sandwich at Three Guys Coffee Shop, a photo of the IOU for $26.20 that she scribbled on a napkin at said coffee shop for said turkey sandwich. The twists and turns of her life are truly enthralling!

Mid February, she posted a photo of "The PERFECT omelette!!!" with "cheese oozing out the sides" that she got in the American Airlines restaurant. Unable to leave her 161,000 followers in the dark, just hanging in suspense, she then posted a photo of the "Chef who made the oozing omelette and server who ordered it," her "heroes."

And I haven't even begun to unravel her new business venture, Candice Bergen Art Stuff!

What began a few years back as Candice hand painting animals and monograms onto expensive handbags for her exciting Rolodex of friends, which she is very exceptionally talented at I must say, has now evolved into a website of, well, art stuff. Fans can now buy her designs on just about anything - from a taco tee shirt to an ice cream cone phone case. All net proceeds go to supporting six of her favorite nonprofits.

In conclusion, if you're not following @bergenbags on Instagram, you are missing out on some seriously exciting content. A path towards aging gracefully I think we'll all be glad to know exists.

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I saw Adele in here once. Alone with her baby. I did not interrupt because stars like their privacy.
A post shared by Candice 🦖 (@bergenbags) on Oct 2, 2017 at 6:43am PDT