Don't mind us, we're just sitting here quietly sobbing over the break-up for Courteney Cox and David Arquette. And Demi and Ashton. And Becks and Posh. And Christina Aguilera and her random husband. Is there any truth to all these breakup rumors? -
And if so, is there any couple left to look up to besides the perennially unsexy Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson?
RUMOR # 1: Courteney Cox And David Arquette
Gossip Rags Say: Nevermind that their wedding rings famously had "a deal's a deal!" engraved on the inside, this couple has been combating break-up rumors for years. The latest, and ultimately deadliest rumor is that David has picked up with Jasmine Waltz, who, we're not kidding, is famous for punching Lindsay Lohan in the face. Are you kidding me, David Arquette?
True Or False: True!!! Their reps confirmed it, and the couple issued a joint statement about staying friends, respecting each other, etc etc etc. I guess it just goes to prove that a relationship can withstand one, two, and even three "Scream" movies, but not four...
RUMOR #2: Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman
True or False: True. Apparently they've been living apart for months now...
RUMOR #3: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
Gossip Rags Say: Ashton cheated on Demi with a young girl named Brittany Jones. Star Magazine even obtained tweets between the two, though of course the couple denied it, going so far as to flash wedding rings in public, hold hands incessantly during press conferences, and even fly to Israel for a rumored vow renewal.
True Or False: Our sources say True! People Magazine covered the story, and not that they're exactly The Times, but they do need some granule of truth in order to run a story, especially given their mostly good standing with celebrities (and celebrity publicists). They can't afford to alienate stars as big as Demi and Ashton over a baseless rumor. Additionally, and perhaps most importantly, Ashton has not sued Star Magazine. If the story is a complete lie, as he alleges, why wouldn't he sue for defamation?
Rumor # 4: David Beckham and Victoria Beckham
Gossip Rags Say: "High-class call girl' Irma Nici told In Touch Weekly she had an affair with Becks in 2007. Nici told In Touch that Beckham paid her $100,000 to spend one night together (though, honestly, in sort of seems like she should have been paying BECKHAM for the honor. I mean, come on, people.) Nici went into extreme detail about the evening (including a bit about the hotel lotion we'd like to forget we read), and that Beckham actually said he preferred curvy women to stick thin ones (ahem, Posh...)
True Or False: Uhm, keep dreaming, Irma! The Beckhams completely denied the story before publication, and once In Touch ran it, were quick to sue her for a staggering 7.5 million dollars. Poor Becks is easy rumor prey, given the (probably true) rumors of an affair with Rebecca Loos. This one though, was pretty obviously BS.
Rumor #5: Brad and Angelina
Gossip Rags Say: "News Of The World" reported in January that Brad and Angelina met with divorce lawyers (despite not being married?) about divvying up their houses and, presumably, their kids. The paper went so far as to describe the couple's custody agreement.
True Or False: False! Obviously because it's October and they're still together. But also because Angelina and Brad quickly took action and sued the paper for "false and intrusive" claims. As part of the settlement, News Of The World has to publish an apology, and pay Pitt and Jolie's costs and damages, which will be donated to the Jolie-Pitt Foundation. (Again, Ashton Kutcher has done nothing of the sort...)