So I am one of the minority who thinks that Leonardo DiCaprio is not that great. Sure he used to be good looking, but I'm not about it. It's not like he's Tom Brady or Justin Bieber because those are actually handsome men with otherworldly and unprecedented talents who have never done anything wrong in the everness of ever. Hit me up when an Oscar winner does something more compelling than reading a script they didn't even write in an affected tone, ya know what I mean? I've never even felt compelled to see a Leonardo DiCaprio film. In fact, I can count on one hand how many Oscar nominated movies I've seen, like, ever. And I'm not really starstruck by him because the only famous people I get starstruck by are reality stars, celebrity babies, or trainwrecks from the early 2000s. Doing what Corinne Olympios, Penelope Disick, or Lindsay Lohan does every day takes way more savvy and a set of cojones. Being Leonardo DiCaprio, though? It's not that hard. 

Someone needs tell Leo how to live his life, and who better than me, a perfect bitch with an ass that refuses to quit who has no bias towards him? So here are some dos and don'ts I have for your boy Leo.

[Photo via Getty]