The Art Of The Snub

by Jack Hazan · October 14, 2011

    There are so many moments in our social life when "Hello" is really meant at "Goodbye" and "How are you doing?" really means "Why are you here?" Therefore, we decide to skip the harsh and abrasive phony fronts and just decide to dismiss the idea of dealing with the person at all.

    However, the snub is also used on the annoying frenemy. And, don't forget that girl that you just NEVER want to say hello to yet, she is always there. Here are the different types of snub and how execute them in the proper fashion.

    The snub in action... [Photo via]

    1. The Turn & Burn - Ah, the classic T&B. This one is one of the most wrongly acted out snubs out there. There is a very specific way to go about letting out the T&B. First of all, despite popular belief, the T&B is NOT a slow motion action. In fact, it's rather quick. You look at your victim from a side angle and swiftly turn your head straight forward. It's more about the dramatic stare.

    A closer look...[Photo via]

    2. I like to call this one the "You Didn't Invite Me To Your Party" snub. You see, this snub should exert bitterness in a "I don't give a crap, but I still want you to fall down a flight of stairs" kind of way. So this one should go something like this. Victim: Hi! OMG I miss you! I just saw your sister the other night! Snubber: Hey. I hate my sister and I miss me too. I mean, why are they saying hi to you? Don't we have enough people who we are obligated to greet as it is?

    3. The "Oops, I didn't see you!"- This one is the most popular. This reminds me of reading a text message and just not answering. YES WE SEE IT, but we just don't feel the need to act upon it. Each time you go out, you are bound to see at least 4 people you know through other  people. Do we have to stop and shoot the breeze with your friend's ex-boyfriend now? I don't think so. This one just requires you to focus on another object and or person. So for instance, the ex is on your left hunting the sale rack at Co-op, you then  take out your cell phone, look dazed, and focus on the Rag & Bone rack.

    4. The "I know you spoke about me" snub - This is reserved for cat fights that are waiting to happen. This occurs between 2 individuals in which one of the parties involved spoke bad about the other. In this case the snub is an obvious yet nonchalant dismissal of the on-comer's greeting.

    Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, Queens of Snubbing [Photo via]

    5. The "Social Suicide" snub - So we all have have a few skeletons in out closet, some of mine are strange friends from the past whom aren't the best when it comes to maintaining status. So, in this situation we want to try and avoid offending the others feelings. So this requires an "on the run" type of snub. Figure you are at a club, the social piranha begins approaching your way, you quickly motion yourself to make it seem like your quickly on your way and say, "Hey!" (in a low voice of course) "Running out but so good to see you! Facebook me!" In this case, they probably will, so make sure you get on your mobile app and delete their wall post.