Finance Guys Say The Douchiest Things: Welcome To Wall Street Oasis

Apparently, these guys consider infidelity to be an "art." Then again, the only artist these guys could name is, like, George W. Bush (tbt to his painting phase). For the record, this is only half of one poster's polemic about marriage. 

"When I was getting very peeved about monogamy, my wife said she'd be OK with me fucking other girls as long as she didn't see it and it was one time stuff if it meant keeping me because I'm pretty great but also a giant fuck-up and it confuses chicks and they're into that for some reason. But I saw how sad the thought made her and I couldn't do it.

Like honestly, I've fucked hotter chicks than my wife (she's still pretty hot though) and that fucks with me. But they were all fucking piece of shit idiots or crazy or whatever. My wife is mentally/emotionally perfect for me and balances my retarded ass out perfectly and is just amazing in every way. Great life partner. I can't allow my dick to fuck that up. But I'm fucking 24 and in great shape and shit, probably have high T, I just want to fuck everyone I see all the time immediately. And it's not even a fucking hotter chicks thing. I just want to fuck different ones. Tall ones, short ones, different shapes and colors and outfits and I just want to fuck everything.

It's so fucked how sex is so different for men and for women. Like, ragefucking is a thing. Honestly, I'll fuck any bitch with legs. And it would mean nothing to me. I'd wipe my dick, walk out, and go see my wife who I actually enjoy being around. But it would be a travesty to her. My one regret in life is not having even more sex pre-marriage. I don't even remember their names and most of their faces. It's just a fun fucking thing to do. But it's an emotional thing for women. And I'm a hypocrite too because the thought of someone fucking my wife disgusts me and if she cheated, I'd throw her ass out the house and never talk to her again. I'd take the car keys, cancel all her shit. Oh how a I getting to work?? Ride a dick probably. But I know she never ever would. In some dark corner in the back of my head though, I almost half way wish she does sometimes so I can be the morally superior one and still fuck other bitches again.

Being married has serious upsides though. For starters, we can have double the conventional mortgage loans. Society is set up to work best for married people. Look at all the top business people. They're all married. Whether or not they cheat is besides the point. I know that I'm not nearly slick enough to get away with it so I don't even. Being single takes a lot of time and effort. It's great to have a life partner if you're both on the same page."

[Photo via @realdonaldtrump]