Is Unicorn Pizza The Nail In The Colorful Food Coffin?

by Millie Moore · July 24, 2017

    You probably just got diabetes from just reading the phrase "unicorn pizza" so that alone pretty much answers the question, right?

    We've definitely alluded to the whole Instagrammable food trend being ridiculous, what with carrot lattes somehow managing to ruin coffee and Starbucks putting the mythical latte in a body bag. Don't get us wrong, we love some food trends that happened to be photogenic, like doughflowers or macaron ice cream sandwiches, but that's because those are, you know, mouth watering and delicious, not just pretty in a picture. That's one of the reasons why Instagrammable places sometimes just aren't worth it.

    But this 'grammable food thing has gone too far, and who is to blame? Industry Kitchen. You surely remember them from creating that extravagant 24 karat gold pizza that costs more than just a pretty penny. But they somehow took it even farther than that with Pop Candy Land Pizza. Sometimes referred to as "unicorn pizza," it's a rainbow sugar cookie adorned with cotton candy and a million types of sprinkles. In other words? It's like a Guy Fieri LSD trip gone wrong. It's the epitomization of American decadence with a psychedelic, artery clogging twist. It's just obnoxious.

    How, HOW could this get worse?

    Oh wait, I know.

    The Uncle Joey Gladstone of the Kardashian family. The anthropomorphic Taco Bell fart. The bane of my existence. You blocked me on every social media interface even though I've never even contacted you, yet here you are on my Instagram feed. HERE. YOU. ARE. You can run, but you certainly cannot hide, Jonathan Cheban. 

    [Photo via @nixterluv, @industrykitchen]